What if the blessing you are asking for cost someone their life? Would you still want it?
I will no longer say that I have dug deep enough on a word of the week, because every week the Lord shows me I can go deeper. So here goes deeper...
Death means the end of life.
Starting as early as last year I begin to speak into existence that I was ready for a baby girl. But it wasn't until 2018 was rolling out that the Lord revealed to me that he was now in agreement and it would be happening in 2019. His instructions were so clear that he even instructed me exactly when to have my birth control removed. I was super excited hearing this from God to know that he was in agreement. It got even better as the days begin to past, numerous people that didn't even know that I had been in conversation with God about this started prophesying that my womb was healed and I was no longer infertile. They prophesied that God was soon going toimpregnate me with a baby or even babies. This had me blown away how God was using his people to confirm for me what I heard.
Well here we are almost in June and still no baby and trust I have been trying lol if you know what I mean. I have been sure to not worry about it but to allow God to move in his timing. I mean that is what he is going to do anyways, no need for me to stress myself over something I have no control over.
That was until this last week. I have been breaking out into crying spells sporadically and really clinging to God like never before after what he revealed to me. Last week as I was spending my regular time with God he chose to bring up me getting pregnant again but this time with another message attached to it. Now, in the last month or two the Lord has been having me recite over and over again God you are good even when it doesn't feel good. And now I know why...
"Destiny you will be pregnant soon but it will be a replacement for a loss." These were his exact words as he proceeded to show me Papi/Pop interchanged. So the back story is I have two grandfathers that have been battling health issues. One goes by Papi and the other by Pop Jesse. So immediately I begin to freak out, like God are you telling me that one of my grandfathers are about to die? I begin to yell as tears welled up in my eyes. "Yes" I heard in a still voice.
Now to the average person this may sound crazy. Heck to me it sounds crazy. But last year a similar thing happened. A friend of mine reached out to me, asking me to pray for her friend's father who was in hospice. To pray that he would get better because she was pregnant and the stress was taking a toll on her and her birthday was near. Still new operating in my gift. I replied, "Of course!" knowing that God's word, says by his stripes we are healed. I knew God would turn it around. That is until I went into prayer. God immediately said I am releasing him. His time is up. I prayed over and over hoping for a different response. Just to get the same response over and over again. So I did as I was instructed and let my friend know. He was gone by that weekend. It scared and shocked me all at the same time and still does when telling the story.
But, to then make matters worse but to give me some clarity. I received a text from Papi asking me when I would be coming home. Which is to Pennsylvania where I was born. I replied,"I didn't have plans to come until August. But, are you ok? Did you need me to come sooner.
"Please just call me." He replied.
My heart sank into my stomach. I knew this wasn't good. I called him and I am going to try my best to share this part without breakingdown so bare with me. So Papi is my grandfather I actually recently learned about having within the last 5 years. He is the father to the biological father I found out about in 2014. In meeting Papi I knew I had finally found that one person on earth that got me for me. That one person that got me the way God got me but in human form. Papi is what I call the G.O.A.T of prayer and prophetic. His gifts intimidate me that is how powerful he is. So we made it our regular routine that when we end every conversation we would end with praying with each other in our heavenly language. Which the word powerful wouldn't give justice to what happens during that time. It is like heaven on earth.
Papi is truly favored by God. He had 6 not 1,2,3,4,5 but 6 strokes and not only survived them all but got up dusted himself off and kept moving like it was nothing. I mean this man was more mobile than me. His stories on how he has introduced people to God makes me feel like I need to step my game up and to top it all he has been married and in love with my grandmother for 64 years, since she was 16 and him 18. A true man of God in every sense.
But, this conversation was different. Very different. I could hear in his voice he wasn't good. He said Destiny, I need you home soon. The doctor said my heart is only beating at 60% and there is nothing they can do. So they are just waiting for it to stop on it's own.
"STOP! What do you mean?" I replied with tears rolling down my face.
Destiny God has been good to me. But if I could be completely honest with you. I am tired and ready to go. Right now I am holding on because God has me still here because if it was up to me I would let go. This took me out. I couldn't take what I was hearing as he proceeded on. Destiny God gave you the gift, so be prepared to take my spot as the prayer warrior for the family, you are ready. I need you to come see me the way I am now. Not after I am gone so you can keep everyone else together.
Ok. Papi I am coming is all I could put my lips together to say. We then went into our call ending routine and began to pray the house down together. To make sure this wasn't God's way of challenging me to pray him back to good health. The next day I locked myself in my office and began to pray in my heavenly language for everyone in my family and honestly any and everyone that came to my head. I then started to pray for my Pop Jesse and the healing prayers begin to flow out. So I then proceeded to pray for Papi hoping that the same thing would happen. But, nope the Lord kept having me recite let my will be done. let my will be done. His assignment is over. His work is finished. Crying hysterically that is when I knew it was real. That is when I started pleading with God that I could hold off on the baby. That I didn't need her right now. Destiny his work is almost finished let him go.
The amazing thing about all of this is I am still able to see how good God is in it all. The fact that he cares enough about me to give me time to prepare for this is so thoughtful. It just solidifies that God really is a God of preparation no matter the situation he wants to prepare you before it happens. That last statement God said to me, led me to change my perspective. Instead of being selfish and allowing my emotions and flesh to lead me. I started to look at it in the spiritual realm. My grandfather actually came to earth and in all of it's craziness he finished his earthly assignment. I know without a shadow of doubt when he goes he will be in Heaven with God. That when he stands in front of God, God will be pleased. That even though his earthly body won't be here anymore the seeds he planted will be sprouting up for years to come. I learned and get to be apart of what true legacy and generational wealth looks like. That it is so much more than money and materialistic things but it is about the good fruit that you leave behind. Or as Revelation 14:13 says, Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord...from their labors, for their deeds follow them.
God showed me the month of August in my initial conversation with him. So I will be going to see my grandfather sometime soon but definitely before August. One thing I asked God to do, was to allow me to grieve in any way he saw fit to prepare me to be strength for my grandmother when this happens. He is all she knows and had known for 64 years. But knowing her relationship with God I know he will prepare her and keep her.
So I ask again if the blessing you are asking for cost someone their life, would you still want it? Or let's go one step further can you say that God would be pleased with you and the fruit you left behind if it was your time?
Comment Below and be honest with your answer to both questions.
