How do you go on when God is Silent or what he is saying will happen, isn't happening?
Silence is the complete absence of sound.
Now I am about to get really vulnerable with you all. Not as if I haven't been doing that but this one may be the deepest I have ever went.
I have been struggling in one particular area of my life. It seems like every area in my life but this one is elevating and moving forward, but not this area. I feel like Elijah when he had to hold the rain back from his people for 3 years not knowing when or if God was ever going to instruct him to release the rain. Imagine faithfully serving God... he is using you... you are in constant communication with Him... and then suddenly... everything is quiet... or worse he promised something would happen by a particular time and it hasn't and you don't see it happening anytime soon. Your only option is to wait.
Well if you aren't there that day will come but if you are say Amen! Because that is exactly where I am. If you have been following me long enough or have been a part of PFP you know a desire of mine is to have another baby. A baby girl to be exact. Baby girl Ka'rin to be exact. However, after dealing with infertility for 3 1/2 years to get my son I never NEVER ever wanted to go back to the place I was prior to him coming. Depressed and just over life. So my plan on this journey is to just be obedient to God and allow it to happen when he is ready for it to happen. Unfortunately, that was working great for me until he started giving me directions as if it was happening soon and sending people literally from all over the world to tell me I was or it was happening real soon. I started to then get anxious. But, I was still coping that was until he confirmed for me not once but twice that I was pregnant and I wasn't. That crushed me not once but twice. It made me begin to question if I could hear from God at all.
I was also battling these internal thoughts as he confirmed daily that I heard from him fine in other people's lives during live prayer and Prayerpy. Talk about feeling crazy, how could I possibly hear you for her and about her past but get it wrong when it comes to me. Lord did I hear you wrong, was my emotions in it and it wasn't you at all. Well that can't be the case because you confirmed it through people that didn't even know my prayers. God I am so confused. Only to get in response "Trust me" I know what I am doing. What does that even mean. Lord you know the area that would crush me would be hoping and praying for a baby after you promised it to me for another cycle and ovulation to pass for nothing to come from it. Maybe, I shouldn't have said that because it was as if he said ok well then we have to get that out so I am going to make it take longer. Now of course that isn't how God works but this is how I felt.
So, I decided to take my mind off of it and just live with the fact that now wasn't the time. That was until one day in prayer he decided to bring it back up. If you have been following long enough you know that is when he told me about my grandfather's time on earth coming to an end. He started the conversation by saying the baby you have been asking for is coming soon. But, it will be a life for a life. (Read that full story here ). But, to bring you all up to date as shared here as my 30th birthday came in my grandfather went to be home with The Lord. So now I was freaking out because during that initial conversation he told me that August would be when the baby would be in my womb or at least I thought so. That even if I misheard him those other times I had heard him right this time because he told me about my grandfather and it actually happened.
Well August has came and went along with my cycle and ovulation and still nothing. So confused is an understatement of how I feel and felt. Questioning why and what about this particular situation am I not hearing you clearly about or why what I am hearing is not manifesting. It has had me disconnected from the world and working with my head down but also has had me wondering if something I did wasn't right or up to his standards. But, in my time alone with him he keeps promising that he knows what he is doing so just trust him. I've asked him what does that look like to trust him the way he is telling me too and he has given me instructions on that and I've done it. So even though he has not been fully silent. He has been in this area of what is going on. So, I still feel as if I don't know when this will actually happen but I know that my only option is to trust him and it will happen when I least expect it. So I encourage you to do the same. I encourage you to truly believe in your heart that his timing is perfect and everything he does is for our betterment even if it seems or feels like it. Just trust him.
I also wanted to share 7 things that have helped me during this time:
Don’t ignore the silence – Some of the biggest moves God has made in my life have come after a period of spiritual dryness… when it seemed like God was doing nothing in my life. Stay very close to God and watch for Him to eventually display His power. He will in the fullness of time.
Confront known sin in your life – This wasn’t the problem of silence for Elijah, but the problem for the Israelites was that they were chasing after other gods and living lives in total disobedience to God. Sin may not be the reason you don’t sense closeness to God right now, but if you have known sin in your life it will affect your intimacy with God.
Go back to what you know – Get back to the basics of the faith that saved you. You’ll do it 100s of times in your life, but you must remind yourselves of the basis of faith… which is the very character and promises of God. God is in control. He really is… even when it doesn’t seem that He is anywhere to be found.
Make a decision… Choose sides – You can’t adequately serve God and the world. (Consider Joshua 24:15.) Something happens in life, often sin, busyness, boredom, or a tragedy… but if we are normal, we have periods where we grow away from our close relationship with God. God hasn’t moved, but if you’ve shifted in your obedience, get back securely on the right side.
Trust More… Not less – Times of silence may be filled with fear, but ironically, these times require more faith. Times come in our spiritual life when our enthusiasm isn’t as real as when we began our walk with God. That’s not an indication to quit… it may be that God is using that time for something bigger than you could have imagined… but whatever is next will most likely require a deeper level of trust.
Listen and Watch Closely – Some day God is going to make His plans known to you. Don’t miss them. He may come to your personally, through His Word, circumstances, or another person. You’ll need to be in a position to know that God is moving.
Get ready to receive – God will break the silence some day… and when He does it WILL be good. If you mope around in your sorrows, you’ll be less prepared to receive the good things to come. Not because of your circumstances, but because of your faith, clothe yourself in joy as you wait for God to bless you after the period of silence.
If you don't get anything at all from reading my weekly words please get to surrender and do it his way. No matter how crazy it looks, sounds or even smells. He has NEVER gotten it wrong and won't start with you!
So I encourage you to just get close to him and allow him to know that your desire is to do it his way no matter what it looks like or how long it takes for you to receive what he has promised? Comment below and let me know if you have experienced God's silence.
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