IS MARRIAGE WHAT YOU REALLY WANT?
Marriage is a commitment between a man and a woman to one another and to each other's family before God bonded by holy matrimony.
I meet people every single day that say they are ready for marriage. That they are ready to find that person to share the rest of their life with. I chuckle inside thinking, that's what you think. I correlate wanting to be married to wanting to be a millionaire. I have found that people fall in love with the thought of being married because of the good parts of it they see not knowing or researching what it actually takes to sustain it after achieving the title.
Marriage has been the most challenging and rewarding thing all at the same time. This year my husband and I will be celebrating 9 years married so I want to share the top 9 things I have learned from being married for the last 8 1/2 years.
1. Make God your foundation
Without God it won't last.
2. Communication is EVERYTHING!
Your marriage won't last if you are not your honest, vulnerable, transparent self.
3. Don't say yes unless you know God sent him/her.
My husband and I will tell you, the only reason we have made it this far is because we knew that God sent us to each other. There is a different type of fight you have when you know you are with the one God sent. So it means NO MATTER what comes your way your only option is to fight until you see the victory.
4. Have only 1 level headed, unbiased confidant outside of your spouse and God about your marriage.
Everyone needs to vent. The first 4 years of marriage I tried to do the whole don't tell anyone what goes on in your marriage because you will make the final decision anyways thing. But, that only worked until I got to the point during infertility where I battled terrible depression because when things started to crumble in my marriage I didn't want to share those parts of the infertility journey.So if you have a level headed unbiased third party they will be able to tell you like it is whether you are right or wrong. But always go to God first because he is amazing at diffusing the situation speedily.
5. Remember you took your vows with God first and foremost.
I had to and even still today have to remind myself daily that I am here to serve my husband and to fulfill the covenant I took before God NO MATTER what! So that means even when he isn't acting right I am still cooking dinner and not leaving him hanging dry. How many of you longing to be married would still do that? If you can't say me, are you really ready?
6. Remember if God sent your spouse he can speak through them to you too.
I can't tell you how many times I ignored what husband was trying to tell me because it wasn't delivered to me in a manner I liked. That was until God got me together and said when I'm stern with you do you ignore me? "Destiny, I sent him to you. Which means I can use him as a vessel to get to you as well. So take heed and get out of your feelings."
7. Marriage is learning how to love unconditionally like a child.
It breaks my heart to see how quickly people give up on relationshipsnowadays but assume they are ready for marriage. There are days where I've cried to God, begging and pleading to have permission to call it quits. I was tired as I can only imagine my husband has had those same moments. Moments where I didn't feel in love, moments where I didn't feel attracted to him or think he was attracted to me. Moments I've felt like we were more roommates than lovers. But, guess what through it all he got us through and led us back to loving each other more than we did going into the storm.
8. Ask God to reveal to you your identity and purpose before getting married.
If you don't know who you are, you can't possibly think you know what you want in a significant other.
9. Don't think children will fix your marriage.
Allow God to restore the marriage before adding more food on your plate.
So, is marriage what you really want?
Comment below and be honest.
